Confessions & Contrition

I have been very bad. I think I need professional help.

Whilst surfing the net yesterday, I ended up buying some patterns off the Rowan website then wandered into Liberty's as it was late might Thursday shopping and ended up buying some bargain yarn. So I went into John Lewis during lunch today to find a pattern book for yesterday's yarn and ended up picking up another 10 balls of yarn just because they were on sale. Plus I bought more off the internet after I came back from lunch. I need to seriously stop this insane habit before I bankrupt myself and end up being an homeless bum on the streets because I've been fired from my job as I'm always on the internet blogging, reading other people's blogs, searching for knitting patterns and buying yarn.

I can just see it now, I'll be wheeling my mountain of stash in a Tesco's trolley with bits of colourful yarn twisted in my greasy, unwashed hair. I'll accost random strangers to tell them tales of how I used to be a city professional with a lovely flat in one of the trendiest parts of London. They'll wrinkle their noses and pull their children away from this deranged woolly witch of a woman. Being addicted to recreational drugs has at least some modicum of glamour, I feel so depraved with this yarn habit, can crack be any less addictive??

Sigh,... I need to exercise some self-control in all aspects of my life. I have been eating like there's no tomorrow so much so that my clothes no longer fit me. I don't know if it's a sign of abject misery that I have to console and satiate myself with food or happiness since there's also the theory that being miserable makes you loose your appetite and there is clearly no sign of that in my life. I find these angry, red gashes right across my tummy every evening which cry out, 'Loose the weight, you fat biffer!' It's getting to a point that I find it difficult breathing and it's seriously uncomfortable. I'm also incredibly nervous and paranoid about ripping the seams of my clothes whenever I sit down.

I need to confront this, bite the bullet and either buy an entire new wardrobe or just eat a lot, lot less i.e. no constant snacking on biscuits and chocolate throughout the day. Since the first option is clearly out of order (what? spend money on clothes instead of knitting books/pattern/tools/yarn/books??!!) - I just need to eat less,... and buy less yarn.... and skiv off less,... less, less less.... hmmmm,... I guess I could make a start by getting on with some work! Okay, I'll go make myself a cup of coffee now to perk myself up... and maybe have some chocolate biscuits with it, and THEN I'll get to work....