6 weird facts about me

I have been tagged by Helen – (thanks!) – now my devoted readers will realise what a complete loon I am. I did actually think of a couple more than 6 but had to cancel out some that should just remain confidential. So, here goes;

1. When I was little, I’d watch old black & white movies on our tv and somehow came to the private conclusion that colour didn’t exist in the world before the 1950’s. I clung to this belief for many years and finally shared my theory with Kim, my sister when I was 9. She promptly laughed in my face and told everyone we knew which made me look like a complete idiot – thanks sis, love you too.

2. I was born with a little hump-like thing on my back. My poor mother, she must have thought she’d given birth to Satan’s child. I can’t in my wildest dreams imagine the pain she must have been through. What must she have thought at the end of a hell-ish 23 hour ordeal when she looked down at this deformed, bloody crying mess of a creature. The hump-like thing went quite quickly and my parents have managed to get over their suspicions, I think.

3. At the grand old age of 10, I decided that all I wanted from life was to have a never ending supply of my 2 all-time favourite things - books and Tropicana Orange juice. Nothing else was necessary for me to be happy and content – I was a simple child.

4. I sometimes sleep with my eyes half-open – I’ve never seen it myself (obviously) but I know it has freaked some people out. They either think I’m awake and try to have conversations with me or according to some others, I look like a corpse.

5. I went to a convent school, was dragged off to temples by relatives when I was little, briefly went to a Methodist Church on Sundays and even joined the youth fellowship. Luckily, I’ve managed to escape the clutches of organised religion relatively unscathed although I reckon a little of the Catholic guilt thing has rubbed off on me.

6. I would secretly like to live inside a man’s body for 24 hours. Before my feminist sisters out there chastise me, I want to make it clear that it is purely out of curiosity – to experience urinating standing up and having a tumescent penis, I do actually enjoy being a woman.

I have no one to tag unless I can somehow re-tag other people??? Is that allowed in tagging universe?

1 down - 33 to go

Hurrah, Sarah was pleased with her fluffy hats and these were delivered on saturday. It was such a relief that I managed to meet this deadline even though it meant a lot of intense knitting whilst hanging out with the girls on Friday and being teetotal. I've got my fingers crossed for her assesment today, I really hope she makes the show - plus my hats will get a little strutting on the catwalk which would be wicked. It was actually really fun being involved in her little crafting club - there were about 6 people in different parts of her flat busy with either sewing, studding or painting. I also got to watch the first 2 episodes of the new 24 and Gruff got to watch the Simpsons which made him very happy.

So, that's now done and dusted which means that I can get on with finishing off some projects that have been loitering around like Asbo-ed hoodies.

Except for the fact that I've started a fixation with 2 new projects - a pair of fluffy greyish-blue legwarmers inspired by the grey January clouds and a sea cushion that I've decided to make out of some Sidar yarn I picked up from John Lewis. It's a lovely shade of blue and turquoise and reminds me of the sea and diving... ahhhhh..... will post some photos soon I hope.

I feel quite smug today if a little achey because I managed to make it to Bikram yoga yesterday. In fact, I feel even more virtuous (if that's possible) because yesterday was supposed to be the most depressing day in the year according to The Guardian and I for one was more than ready to slob out on the futon. I actually got quite a lot done because I had to organise my time properly. The dude Joachim taking the yoga class was the tallest guy I'd even seen who purred out instructions with a slight German accent. 'Fill ze strech, allaw yur baady to rich out. Bee patient, empty out yur mind as you foll in two ze pazicion.' I'm now working out a little timetable for my Extra-Curricular activities and am close to the big decision regarding the torture chambers.. urm, I mean gyms.

Confessions & Contrition

I have been very bad. I think I need professional help.

Whilst surfing the net yesterday, I ended up buying some patterns off the Rowan website then wandered into Liberty's as it was late might Thursday shopping and ended up buying some bargain yarn. So I went into John Lewis during lunch today to find a pattern book for yesterday's yarn and ended up picking up another 10 balls of yarn just because they were on sale. Plus I bought more off the internet after I came back from lunch. I need to seriously stop this insane habit before I bankrupt myself and end up being an homeless bum on the streets because I've been fired from my job as I'm always on the internet blogging, reading other people's blogs, searching for knitting patterns and buying yarn.

I can just see it now, I'll be wheeling my mountain of stash in a Tesco's trolley with bits of colourful yarn twisted in my greasy, unwashed hair. I'll accost random strangers to tell them tales of how I used to be a city professional with a lovely flat in one of the trendiest parts of London. They'll wrinkle their noses and pull their children away from this deranged woolly witch of a woman. Being addicted to recreational drugs has at least some modicum of glamour, I feel so depraved with this yarn habit, can crack be any less addictive??

Sigh,... I need to exercise some self-control in all aspects of my life. I have been eating like there's no tomorrow so much so that my clothes no longer fit me. I don't know if it's a sign of abject misery that I have to console and satiate myself with food or happiness since there's also the theory that being miserable makes you loose your appetite and there is clearly no sign of that in my life. I find these angry, red gashes right across my tummy every evening which cry out, 'Loose the weight, you fat biffer!' It's getting to a point that I find it difficult breathing and it's seriously uncomfortable. I'm also incredibly nervous and paranoid about ripping the seams of my clothes whenever I sit down.

I need to confront this, bite the bullet and either buy an entire new wardrobe or just eat a lot, lot less i.e. no constant snacking on biscuits and chocolate throughout the day. Since the first option is clearly out of order (what? spend money on clothes instead of knitting books/pattern/tools/yarn/books??!!) - I just need to eat less,... and buy less yarn.... and skiv off less,... less, less less.... hmmmm,... I guess I could make a start by getting on with some work! Okay, I'll go make myself a cup of coffee now to perk myself up... and maybe have some chocolate biscuits with it, and THEN I'll get to work....

The Ks & Peas

Frantic flags cling to their poles
and
Clouds rush by into the Grey
horizon.
Gale force winds have slowed our strides
and
Pressing work due last, last week
Glares out at me with hands on hips
and pursed up lips.

Instead,
I read page after page of
screen-based blogs about
Knitting (hurrah for the Phoenix
and Wasabi peas)
and
Books
and other fun mindless things.
Inner discoveries thanks to Myer's Brigs.
(I'm an INFJ for those in the know.)

This latest entry was inspired by
a man who vowed to learn
100 poems off by heart.

The morning's distraction
has therefore been reading
Poems that people like and know.
I like reading poetry,
I like writing poems
I like words that never reach the edge of the page
but hang suspended, kept up by the wind.

It's not my fault my inertia can't be moved
though gale force winds prevail.

Word dreams

I have been on a huge reading over-drive and thereby making a small gnat-strengthed dent on my pile of 'unreads' which currently equates to about 97.67% of the books in my little flat.

(Come to think of it, I'm currently only utilising the same percentage of my stash. I might actually analyse the figures as part of my drive to be more organised - that way, i'll be able to keep track of yarn/book supplies, keep them low like inflation and hence ensure that should the flat ever catch fire, at least the firemen won't have to wrestle through a mountain of burning yarn and books to reach me)

I think I desperately need more sleep - was wide awake after washing my hair and read a few chapters of my Jilly Cooper book, indulgent I know but i need some fun to balance out the woolly grey blanket that is the January skies. This resulted in the most bizarre dreams involving horses, children, the payment of public-school fees and rich, lascivious property developers. Hmmm, I guess they make your dreams so much more interesting. Having (only) a day away from the book, I found myself struggling to remember who was who and how they inter-related. I much prefer getting stuck into a book at long, chunky sittings - finished most of 'Perfume' on the train to Exeter which made all the signal failures and delays vaguely tolerable.

With this influx of literary images and people embedded in my mind, I now find it next to impossible to get my mind switched onto more pressing things at work, issues that I have been sitting on. Important work stuff that I need to sort out! But it's hard to concentrate when my mind drifts off into the land of 'ks' n ps' and I think about what I need to knit next, for whom, in what order, by when etc.

Then flipping over to thinking about what book I want to read next and then what ECA I should do in the coming week, how to fit some swimming practise in and the time-tabling required. Honestly, I just wish real-life wouldn't get in the way of all the fun stuff!!

p.s. watched a programme on growing your own vegetables hosted by a wrinkled and over- enthusiastic witch-like lady and I so long for a garden - life's SO unfair (mentally thumps table)

Dancing fish

Went on a Total Immersion weekend down in Hampton to learn how to swim freestyle - it has changed my life. It focusses on swimming as an artform as opposed to sport and I can't wait to dip into a pool to practise the drills I've learnt. Who would have thought that balance and rotation goes into swimming, that it should be pared down to its bare essentials. We think that thrashing and pullling our way through down to the end of the lane in the fastest, spashiest manner is doing it right but it's about keeping swimming (and life) simple and gliding through with effortless grace and elegance. It's not a competition and learning patience was one of the major points constantly repeated to us. What a revelation and so applicable to everyday life. There was something zen-like about learning to love every stroke you take and embracing the water instead of fighting it. I realise that I need a lot of practise but being able to achieve more fishlike swimming would be just perfect.

Also went to my first ballet class last night and what a joy! The graceful stretches in time to the music was so calming and relaxing. I always knew that i'd enjoy it and Teresa our teacher was the archetypal, strict ballet mistress. I love learning new things and ballet has been one of those things I've thought about doing for the past few years and just never got round to for some crappy reason or another. Ah well, better late than never I guess. I'm secretly hoping that both swimming and ballet will help me with my Quasimodo-esque posture!

This Other Life

Like most of the UK's 30-something, telly-watching populace the prospect of This Life + 10 was simply too intriguing. A symptom of the Friends Reunited syndrome. Yes, the characters still hadn't chaned much and could swear and bitch for England but surely that's the deep-seated fear that we all have within. That life and life lessns have taught us nothing, that we repeat the same mistake unable to escape our own demons and weaknesses. This Life was simply groundbreaking in terms of content and stylistically. I was a little too young to completely identify with the characters then but I suspected that this is how we were headed that we'd be a disaffected, unhappy, navel-gazing lot caught up in the trite minutaie of trivial anxieties. It was never 'real' or edgy (for that 'Shameless' pushes more buttons), you never believed that they were really lawyers, just young people in LA Law style pretending and blagging their way through their jobs much like what we all do. In any case, my post-uni life was more 'Gimme Gimme Gimme' than anything esle!

What followed was 'The Thick of it' - what a sublime show, the blinking politician on Paxman was hilarious. This and Radio 4 makes me happy to pay my license fee if only there was more.

Very excited - have joined the Bookcrossing thing and released 2 books this morning. Am planning on dropping a couple more off and hope this will make me read all the books I've amassed so that I can pass them on. Want to be better at reading the books on my list this year.

Also have to get on with the knitting of mohair hats which will mean all other projects taking a back seat for now.

Full moon over Marble Arch - Hello 2007!!

I cannot believe it is 2007... it's so terrifying that we're 3 years away from 2010 yet numbers become meaningless after a while. It's just that it's so difficult to comprehend that the years flash by in minutes. What happened to 2001? 2003? My mind is completely blank.

Spent yesterday bursing a hangober from hell thanks to Harry at The Macbeth who was more than generous with his drinks. But at least I didn't shlep all the way to Shepherd's Bush and got to spend this New Year's hanging out in my hood. Everyone wanted to do seperate things and compromise wasn't really an option as people (myself included) dug in their heels.

Watched loads of telly yesterday under the duvet, shows that I hadn't watched in almost 20 years. 'Superman' - how tacky and cheesy? Couldn't help but be reminded of Christopher Reeves mortality and untimely death. It was again unfanthomable that Superman was fallible. 'The Great Escape' ( have never watched that from beginning to end but what a totty fest! Steve MacQueen... yum!). Then 'Top 10 wild dives with Tanya Streeter which was pure nirvana to me, I was deeply envious of her free-diving abilities but also that she got to dive in such cool and exotic places AND she swam with manta rays - something I want to do before I die! But her eyes lit up whenever she talked about dives and you could see in her aqua-marine eyes that she's got such a passion for the underwater world and a lot fo respect for its marine inhabitants. Then we got Melvyn Bragg interviewing Damien Hirst in 'The South Bank Show' which was brilliant as usual. Thought DH came across as really bright and unpretentious which was a revelation - Brit Art has never seemed cooler. Plus there were interviews with other artists who ranted against these youngsters at Art school who were more concerned with getting their hair gelled and sculptured than delving into art history. Sigh - we were all young and foolish once and we possessed such arrogance. So much time was wasted and we thought that youth was everlasting... and 2007 has crept up on us.

Then one foggy Christmas eve,...

So after saying in my last blog entry that i'd rather stay in London for X'mas, my wish might actually come true what with the delays at Heathrow caused by the dense fog. From the view in my office on the 14th Floor, the whole of London looks eerie, like it's just shrunk and the fog's closing in - wasn't there some ghastly Stephen King novel once about an evil fog that was made into a movie? Before I spook myself silly, I'll just try to pretend that the whole town's become a giant sauna (ok, it's freezing in London at the moment I know but the whole object of the exercise is to pretend.....)

Am suffering a hangover from hell today as I got smashed up with P last night and then rolled up to the Alaska X'mas party where highlights of the night were these rappers and musicians jamming,.... something about 'South West Connection', my memory of the party is slightly hazy (or should I say foggy?) I think I might have embarassed Gruff a little by being the drunk, stumbling, shuffling girlfriend who's trying to dance (cringe factor 10). P and I went to a number of fine Soho establishments and tried unsuccessfully to look like discerning 30-somethings and drunk ourselves silly because we felt old amongst the trendy, nubile youngsters but it was good - P and I once used to stagger around Soho most nights of the week when we were also young and firm. I like to think that we'll still be carousing around in Soho when we're saggier and have surrendered to gravity.

But I was in Liberty's picking up yarn for Gruff's Knuck gloves and the yarn sale started before my very eyes! I couldn't believe it when the nice Rowan ladies started dragging out bags of discounted yarn and unpacking them in front of me. My eyes must have been popping out as I tried to peer through to see what goodies were in store and whether the full-price yarn I was holding in my arms would be in the discount bin. One of the Rowan ladies must have seen the naked greed in my eyes because she shoved a bag under the table away from me and gave me a sharp look before hurrying off to attend to a customer at the till. She was probably afraid of tempting the woolly animal inside of me that would have pounced on the bags, tearing through the plastic with my teeth and wildly delving through balls of yarn. It was pure serendipity, a magic moment- 40% off lovely yarn and no other shoppers to wrestle with - I'm sure my bank balance agrees. I was so spoilt for choice and trying to contain my urge to buy everything in sight and conscious at the same time that every ticking moment was making me even later for my appointment with P. It was 15 minutes of pure and agonising bliss - will try to post photos of my spoils soon.

It's a quiet day in the office and someone has just brought me the loveliest chocolate brownie cake I have ever tasted - it's from Borough Market and it feels as though I've just died and gone to heaven,... hmmmm,..... that maybe explains the fog.... and the Liberty's yarn sale..... ah, well - life despite the stupid delays is still pretty much good - I will try not to worry too much about the folks being disappointed should I not make it back for X'mas, it's all a bit much for my tender head at the moment.

Bedales, Cakes and Yarn

Met up with the lovely ladies of the Pat Val knitting group after the longest time. Was really good to have a catch up and get pissed although I discovered that Alex's hoodie has now got a very strange row. Ah well, he's little and probably won't notice or mind. Am panicking slightly about getting the X'mas woolly presents completed in time. Have culled my list so drastically to realistically reflect that only Alex's and Mama's presents will be delivered - everyone else's including B's fingerles knucks gloves and grey scarf will have to wait. Next year, I'll start knitting Xmas presents in August! Managed to finish Freddy's aran jumper and Susan's scarf in time though, plus Martina's red beret and Diane's birthday bag were finally completed and delivered last Saturday. Phew,... I hate it when projects hang around for ages - way past their completion dates - I will try to be more organised next year and maybe less ambitious!

Since my last blog entry, I've had some lovely knitting adventures. Watched 'Casino Royale' at Knitflicks with Sofia who came down for my birthday, then I brought her to the lovely and cosy I Knit shop in Vauxhall so that she could buy me my present - poor Sofia was dragged along in my mad knitting obsession. Then when I brought B to the National to watch 'The Seafarer' I met Craig who owns the I Knit shop with Gerrard and he got us fantastic seats which was really very kind of him. It was B's first time in the theatre and I was so glad it was a good experience. Have also been asked to help out with a friend's final year fashion show at Saint Martin's. Her final project is going to be knitwear and I've been making little mohair, lace hats which has thankfully gone down really well.

Will be flying home for X'mas this Saturday, i'm slightly worried that there will be massive delays due to fog etc and kind of wished I was staying in London for X'mas this year, will miss the telly too much. How sad am I? Booo....

Day-dreamy days

It’s been another day of constant distractions – my brain feels like a chaotic jumble of separate strands of thoughts all weaved together in a multi-coloured mess. I’m thinking about; my new knitting projects,

Cushions for Diane as a house-warming present
‘TBBP’ - i.e The Big Blanket Project - the Afghan I’ve decided to embark upon

The big spring-clean this weekend, the impending BIRTHDAY celebratory weekend… sigh. I think I’m prone to getting pensive and solemn around this time of year, I’ve been gazing out of windows far too much and staring at the office workers in the building across the road. They look so ‘occupied’ and busy and I find myself making up stories about the little dramas I see in front of me – much like James Stewart in ‘Rear Window’. My office chair doubles up as a wheelchair of some sorts I guess - I feel similarly confined and debilitated.

What did I use to spend my energies musing on in my former pre-knitting life??! I need to focus on having a knitting plan especially sticking to it and perhaps just get on with it instead of thinking too much and agonizing about making the right decisions about projects, colours, yarns etc etc.. (The story of my life!!) I drove Gruff to distraction last weekend as all I could talk about throughout dinner and after was TBBP. Drew endless diagrams and tried to come up with mathematical formulas about how many squares I should make, how many I should knit in x colour and how I’d stitch them together in a nice artistic way so that no 2 squares in the same colour wound up being next to each other . It’s going to be a woolly masterpiece that will occupy and demand a whole lot of my patience and energy – maybe this will prove to be my downfall, although I probably shouldn’t jinx it before I’ve even started.

I’ve been watching Simon Schama’s ‘Power of Art’ and last week’s programme was about Rembrandt painting his masterpiece in Amsterdam’s Town Hall which he ended up cutting to bits . The programme’s had a bit of flak for being patronising but I think he’s great, such enthusiasm and verve animating his eyebrows! I do concede that some of the dramatisations were a little naff especially in the inaugural episode on Caravaggio.

I have to remind myself of the things that have made me giggle recently, maybe set up a separate topic list – Gruff had me in peals of laughter when he attempted to knit after a hiatus of 20 years. The look on his little face, brows furrowed in concentration – it was adorable! I can see him getting addicted then dipping into my stash and us fighting over needles…. Hmmm, must stop being so fatalistic!!

Babies are like towels

Right, hope to make writing this blog a bit more of a regular exercise. Read an article in The Guardian soon after starting my blog about the rise of the female blogger which has become a bit of a phenomenon and it kind of put me off writing for a while.

I don’t intend to make it a diary as such because that’s verging too close to the personal although you could argue that articulating your thoughts and feelings is in way revealing your inner workings. But I digress,…

Was at The Garrick yesterday evening to watch 2 comedians I know well and love Stephen K Amos & Phil Nichol. Phil won this year’s Perrier and deservedly so as he is extremely funny and one of the most-respected and hard-working comedians on the circuit. But the main thing that gets me and is hence the subject of todays blog-rant is that 2 punters IN THE FRONT ROW walked out of his set. They completely took offence and missed the point of what he was trying to say which is that we should all put our differences aside because at the end of the day we’re all made of the same stuff underneath all the material trappings, we are intrinsically flesh and blood. If they’d stayed till the end and seen him make his point then they would have learned a little or at least been shown a different point of view. But no, they decided to stalk off in a huff just because he was gyrating his crotch in her face, she was just too small-minded to take it or perhaps she thought she had to appear coy. Hah! When she’s old, withered and grey - she will pay good money to have that experience and will come to regret her priggish behaviour. He probably thought it’d be a chivalrous gesture to defend his lady’s honour by escorting her out of the audience but it was such a futile act because a) she didn’t have any and b) she didn’t just storm off, she milked her exit by bowing and holding her finger up to her mouth in that infantile pose that says ‘I’m-so-hurt-look-at-me-poor-me’. Anyway, they looked pretty dumb and I’m perhaps giving them far too much exposure than they deserve by even writing about them on my little blog. Phil’s comedy does often cross the line, in fact it’s probably more accurate to say that he zig-zags along the zig-zag of good taste and some dumb people will always try to ruin it for the others.

Wow- haven’t even got to my new knitting news and I have already waffled on – har har!
Went to Knitflicks which was brilliant, will have to spread the word as it wasn’t as well-attended as I thought it’d be. So soothing to hear the quiet clicking of knitting needles. Had a bit of a chat afterwards in the café with some other knitters and one of them told me about a knitting karaoke event and Wool Fest held up in the Lake District every May. It sounds great – very excited and intrigued.

I have been looking and refining my knitting spreadsheet and am suffering from severe indecision about what to make next and for whom. By the time I finish the jumper for a friend’s little boy, it’ll be summer and he won’t be in need of one! I have to factor in when I think I’ll complete the projects and how old these munchkins will be then. I also HATE knitting sleeves although making them simultaneously on one needle has eased the tedium somewhat. I detest going into the West End these days especially on a weekend but I need to pick up supplies and I’ll therefore use this opportunity to check out a new yarn shop in Vauxhall. I think I shall start the Debbie Bliss Cashmerino Astrakhan ribbon-tied jacket thing for my little nephew Alex - have wanted to make it for him for the longest time but got distracted by great summer weather and the World Cup. Am slightly anxious that things won’t fit as babies seem to grow so quickly, almost like those towel things that expand 5 times bigger when you dunk them in water….. babies are like towels, that’s my end thought and message for today’s blog.

Ironing board on London tube

Oh dear - feel like a right old plonker. How does one post pictures onto this - I have a feeling this is going to become a new obsession (as if I haven't got enough of them!!).

I'll start by listing all my knitting projects and I'll post some work-in-progress photos at a later stage.

- a raspberry beret (!) for my friend Martina who lost hers at the 'Children of Men' wrap party
- fingerless gloves for my sister who's coming to visit (it's the Knucks pattern off Knitty)
- a vest top for Sophia and Yasmin
- a raglan jumper for my baby nephew Alex
- a kitty bed for Honey Bunny

This is just a list of current projects - I have a whole Excel spreadsheet of ideas for projects many of which are Knucks gloves etc.... this X'mas, I'm going to make everyone gloves as opposed to scarves . I know it seems a little anal having a 12 columed excel spreadsheet but it's all part of my drive to lead a more organised life. e.g. I live opposite a great DVD shop, it's 6 paces away from my front door and I STILL return rentals late,... how crap is that?? Luckily for me, the owner is very nice and never charges me late fees (perhaps he feels sorry for me, the fact that my lack of organisation has instilled pity is not a good thing really). My good friend T has also offered to give up a weekend and come round to help me tidy up the flat,... I feel like some sort of charity case, maybe people will run the London marathon on my behalf next year to raise money for my cause....

But I am truely ashamed of my crapness that I am going to make a concerted effort to return my dvds on time,.. watched 'Election' last night and I was unexpectedly impressed. Reese Wtiherspoon reminded me so much of a girl I knew at school who was just as perky, pesky and annoying. I generally never watch movies like 'Election' but the nice lady at the dvd shop recommended it to me on Monday evening when I'd had a shitty day enduring the miserable London weather. After the lovely sunshine we enjoyed over the weekend, it was just so depressing to confront the fact that winter's drawing close. I don't generally mind it that much if I'm strapped on my snowboard and playing about on the slopes but there is no snow in London.... which reminds me.

When I went to Milton Keynes to pick up my Nitro snowboard I had to lug it back on the bus, train, tube and walk from Old Street station back to the flat. It felt so incongruous and I got lots of funny stares from people. The normal commuters didn't bat an eye-lid, as Londoners they're used to seeing strange things but I could hear some out-of-towners muttering something about a ski show... it was in March and London was enjoying a particularly sunny day,.. I felt like a right old idiot. Don't get me wrong, I was really stoked and pleased with the purchase of my new board I was trying my best not to look too smug or pleased with myself but I was also aware of people staring which in turn just made me twist up my face which probably made people stare even more.... I can just imagine their thoughts 'Look at that little freak with a deranged expression and what is she doing with an ironing board?'

Hurrah!! At last, I have my blogspace. I have been threatening to do this for a while much to the bf's amusement. This will not help me much with my attempts to concentrate on work... booo, hiss hiss